Sure, God is the creator of all things, Jesus died on the cross to absolve us of all our sins, blah blah blah, but how good do they look in leather pants? If things were my way, people would have a lot more fun in church...Religion can be fun as fuck, if you just change the objects of worship to something interesting:
Justin is definitely the Sex God. Well, okay, JC is a Sex God, too. And so is Ryan Phillipe. They can be like Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit of Sex. You know, the Holy Trinity or whatever. One in the same, but 3 seperates.
JC is Jesus Christ, cause,hell,they got the same initials. That's as good a reason as any. Justin is the Holy Spirit,cause,he just is...besides, he had that hole in his sweater at the 2000 VMAs...(I shouldn't have been paying enough attention to notice that.) And Ryan Phillipe is God, cause, goddamn, that boy is the hottest peice of ass on the planet.
Now, honestly, if this was how churches ran, don't you think they'd have a lot more members? I know I'd be in the front pew every Sunday, drooling over the statue of a naked JC nailed to the crucifix. "Sure, he's bleeding to death, but check out that six-pack!" and "Does it look like he's got a boner?"
Our rooms would be decked out with posters, paintings, pictures of them. "No, mom, Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit aren't fucking, that poster of them wresting nude in vanilla pudding is symbollic of their undying love for each and every one of us."
And it wouldn't be all that bad if your mom found your porn, "It's just an illustrated version of the Bible. Now, leave me alone so I can get back to praying."
Speaking of praying, how eager would you be to get down on your knees for those three?
Okay, if I wasn't already damned to hell, I think writing this sealed the deal.