"You ain't the shit you think you are!" JC screamed.

"Tell him why, girlfriend!" Chris urged, flipping his wrist flamboyantly.

"Yhea, just 'cause you're winning now doesn't mean shit." Lance said, "This game ain't over till it's over."

"Whatever, Jealous." Justin grinned, "You know I'm the fucking Scrabble Master."

"More like Scrabble Masterbator." Chris corrected.

"What? That doesn't even make sense." Justin threw a 'Y' at Chris.

"'Y' you gotta be like dat?" Chris held up the little wooden block, "Get it? 'Y'? I'm Punny!"

"More like Retarded." Justin looked around the room, "Who's turn is it?"

Lance pointed at Joey, "The fat one."

Joey gave Lance a stern look, "Play nice, honeypie. Don't make Daddy put his sweetheart in time-out."

Lance nodded meekly, "Sorry, Daddy."

"How sorry are you?" Joey tickled Lance.

Lance twisted away, giggling, "Super Duper Sorry with Smoochies on top!"

"Who loves their Daddy?" Joey wondered, pulling Lance onto his lap.

"Hmm..." Lance put his finger in his mouth and pretended to think about it, "Maybe JC does."

"Whoa," JC put up his hands, "Leave me out of your sicky lovegames."

"They’re not sicky!" Lance protested defensively, "You're the sicky, sicky! I know all about your paddywhacks!"

"What do you mean?" Chris piped up, "What paddywhacks?"

Justin looked at JC, alarmed. JC shook his head at Justin reassuringly, "He doesn't know anything."

"Oh, really?" Lance jumped out of Joey's lap and ran towards the bunks.

"Stay out of my shit, Dogface! I swear to god I'll rip your goddamn balls off and shove them up your fucking pussy!" JC threatened, as both he and Justin chased after Lance.

"Pussy!" Joey cried triumphantly, placing blocks on the Scrabble board, "Triple letter score for the 'U'."

"Pussy is spelled with a y, not i-e." Chris reached towards the game board.

"Chris, between the two of us, I think I'm the authority on pussy." Joey slapped Chris's hand away.

"Just cause you're bi- bi- bi-," Chris laughed at his own joke, "Get it? Bi- Bi- Bi-?"

"Yhea, I got it," Joey rolled his eyes, "It just wasn't funny."

"Yuck Fou." Chris stuck out his tongue.

"Not for all the gold shillings at the end of your rainbow." Joey told him, "Now, *that's* Punny."

"Do you even know what a pun is?" Chris demanded.

"No." Joey admitted, "but I know what a leprechaun is."

"Look, needledick, if--" Chris started to yell, but was interrupted by a loud thud.

"Get off!" Lance was laying on the floor, both hands behind his back, after being tackled by Justin.

"Fork it over and he'll get off," JC told Lance.

"I can't breathe!" Lance complained, "You're suffocating me!"

"Good." Justin showed no signs of remorse, "You deserve it, you fucking pussy. I'm not moving till you give it back."

"Fine," Lance said in a high-pitched-Chris voice, "but could you at least move your right leg?"

"Why?" Justin asked, not moving.

Lance made a pained face,"You're squishing my nuts."

"Ahh!" Justin rolled off of Lance immediately, horrified by the thought of any part of his body touching Lance's nuts.

"Psyche!" Lance jumped to his feet and flew towards the tv room of the bus, calling for the others to join him, "Chris! Daddy! Hurry!"

"Damnit, Justin! You let him get away!" JC pushed the Justin.

"Fuck off!" Justin pushed back, "How the hell did he know about it, anyway?"

"I didn't tell him!" JC yelled, "The albino must've been digging through my shit!"

They were so busy fighting they almost forgot about what was going on in the tv room until they heard familiar music come on. JC looked at Justin, "Oh, fuck."

They ran into the tv room and found the guys laughing hysterically. On the television screen was JC, dressed in an unbuttoned gold silk shirt that was tucked into skin-tight black snakeskin pants. He was belting out a passionate rendition of The Police's "I'll Be Watching You."

The beat changed, and it wasn't The Police's song, it was actually Puff Daddy's remake. Justin appeared on the screen in an all-white suit, doing a perfect impersonation of Puff Daddy's dancing at the 1998 VMA's. As he danced around, JC continued singing, and both had deadly earnest facial expressions.

Joey, who was laughing so hard he was crying, turned to them, "Is this what you two do in your free time? You guys need hobbies or something!"

"Oh, my God, Lance," Justin closed his eyes and shook his mighty fists of fury, "You are so dead it's not even funny."

Suddenly, JC sprang forward and ejected the tape,"Okay, buttsuckers, show's over. Get out of here and leave us to hate you in peace."

"Aww," Chris whined,"I wanna watch it again! I'm gonna send a copy of that to TRL!"

"TRL as in Total Request Live or Totally Retarded Leprechaun?" Joey asked.

"Yay!" Lance clapped his hands happily, "Daddy made a funny!"

"I'm about to make a fury if y'all don't get the fuck out." Justin warned.

"Make a fury?" Chris made a face, "What the hell?"

"Just get out." Justin pushed him out of the room, then turned to Lance and Joey, "Out."

They looked at Justin, then at JC, who was pointing towards the door in a silent command. "It's our tv room, too." Joey tried, "This bus belongs to all of us."

"You're right, Joe." JC smiled sarcastically, "We're all equally important. I'm sure *Nsync would be just as successful if it was just you, Dogface, and the Leprechaun."

Joey didn’t say anything, he just grabbed Lance's hand and walked out, pulling the accordion partition closed roughly behind him.

"That was kind of harsh." Justin plopped down on the couch and pulled JC on top of him.

"Yhea, well, " JC bit Justin's earlobe lightly, "Think about if they'd fast forwarded the tape a little."

"Hmm...they would've really gotten a show." Justin agreed, "No more homemade porn for us."

"Whoa," JC stopped giving Justin a hickey and looked up at his face, "Let's not get drastic. We'll just hide it better from now on."

"Okay," Justin nodded, and JC resumed his vacuum-action. "Hey, listen." JC pulled back again, listened. "Lance is telling Chris what you said."

Both men strained to hear the whispered conversation. "What?!" Chris screeched when Lance finished talking.

"Lance!" Joey's voice, "I thought I told you not to tell him!"

"Sorry, Daddy." He didn't sound sorry at all.

"You know what that means, pookie. Daddy's gonna have to give his candy a caning." Joey started to take off his belt.

"Oh, god, I hope he's talking about a spanking." Justin whispered to JC, who pretended to throw up.

Suddenly the partition was yanked open, and in the doorway of the tv room stood Chris, trembling with anger, "You ain't the shit you think you are!" He screamed wildly.

"Tell him why, girlfriend!" Lance did a you-go-girl snap.